This is going to be a quick post. I have not had a very productive day and have been battling bouts of anxiety for the past few days. Although I am confident of my progress to date, I realize that I am anxious about my upcoming colloquium presentation. I think the key issue is that I am very conscious of how much I still don’t know!! It is funny that one benefit of the MSc has been a transition from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence but right now this “progression” is causing stress. It was much easier when I knew very little but thought I knew a great deal. Ignorance can truly be blissful!! I also realize that awareness of one’s conscious incompetence is one thing, but displaying it to knowledgeable academics is quite another matter! I have to keep reminding myself that I am tracking well given my stage in the journey and do my best not to be overwhelmed by the road ahead.
My focus during the past week has been on finalizing the colloquium presentation. I submitted the final document to Henley on Thursday. I did my first formal presentation DRY RUN today and plan to do two more by the end of Monday. Hopefully by then I will feel more relaxed. It was good to talk to my sister today about my anxiety. She reminded me of how much I have accomplished so far and that I should be proud. I am going to do my best to remember this, complete my DRY RUNS and then try to RELAX!!